If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Randomize
