My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
tequila makes me forget i have legs
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
