if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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