Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
That's when you crack a 10am beer
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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