I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
