If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Randomize
