Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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