Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
