You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
After tacos, we're chasing women.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Randomize