I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
