his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
