i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
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