do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
