I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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