My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I'm having to shit out rocks
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
