He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Randomize