I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Randomize
