Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize