theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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