thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
