i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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