she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
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