i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Randomize
