so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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