Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
