id be glad to
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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