i jhust puked up my retainher.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Randomize
