you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
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