Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
