Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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