Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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