it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
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