ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
