Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
