i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
