I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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