i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
You're like the curious george of whores
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
