I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
She's JV to your varsity
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
