Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
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