the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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