Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
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