I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
