You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
