just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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