So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
She announced her abortion via fbk
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
