You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
The feeling are messing with the penis
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Randomize
