i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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