Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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