would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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