Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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