why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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