So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
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