At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
