is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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