did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
