Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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