I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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