Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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