so explain again why im purple
no
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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