oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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