with your own penis?
He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
