also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
