WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Randomize
