that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
