Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
